干嘛？！

唉。。。真的不想这样过着掩饰自己的每一天。很惭愧啊！身为辩论员，却还是不够聪明，去想通到底是怎么一回事，我在干嘛？！


今天，又帮我妈载送工人了。是啊，你没有看错啊！我是帮我妈载工人啦！我这个自以为是王后的狮子座女生，现在不是了！我在干嘛？！我这个曾经是人人羡慕的“顶尖”学生，现在也不是了。现在每个遇到我的人有九十九巴仙吧，都会问我：“你为什么这么想不开要去读中六啊？！”哈。。。为什么？我也想知道为什么。。。


“命生到不好咯！”这是我的答案。


当然，这是一种情绪化的表现。每当我伤心地寻求别人的安慰时，很多人给我的安慰是：“哎哟，你没有那么不幸福啦！你想看还有很多人比你更惨啊！有些人连吃喝住都顾不到了，你看你，至少还穿的好吃的好啊！有些人连书都没有的读了，你看你，至少还有书读耶。。。”


是啊！我看我，连自怜自艾的资格都没有，只因为我不是最可怜那个。。。有时候觉得这真的是一个不成文的道理，就因为这样，我的失去就不能算是失去，我的难过就什么都不是吗？传世界就只有第三世界的人可以哭泣，值得安慰，那我就应该任由失败与不公平打在我的人生上，而不能做声吗？


是啊。。。很矛盾的一点。应该只有我这种情绪化到极点的怪胎才会去探讨的一个课题。当然，你可以觉得我很过分，说出这种灭绝人性，伤天害理，有违伦理，大逆不道，十恶不赦，人鬼公愤的话（好像没有那么严重。。。），但是，身为一名情绪化的辩论员，我能够接受我提出这样的一个论点。。。因为，情绪化万岁！！！奇葩万岁！！！


好了！纯粹是太过于无法释怀了，太多的情绪出现在脑海里，才会这样。我没有想到原来我还没有痊愈的，只是早上的一点小到得用望远镜才看得到的现实，竟让我那么敏感，继而让我发现我自己严重的情绪化原来还是老样子。。。

颓废中。。。×

p/s: 情绪化万岁！！！！

Start to become a new one～～×

Today is a quiet and peaceful rainy day for me . No more serious emo , no more bad news , and no more dissapointment . Its simple and nice . It let me feel like im having some gaps to definate again what is mean by happy to me ... Its just like a starting of a brand new life for me but it wont be so easy ... i think...


Well, the dramatic 2-weeks holiday have gone and today i went back to the yucky school . Its the toughest holiday that i have never ever had before. Its just 2 weeks but i felt like i have already passed about one or two months . So , i always try to memberized what have i done in my holiday that made it so full till i cant even finish my homeworks!!! wahahaha^_^


1) I worked as a part timer again in the Ekspo in Seberang Jaya .Im a photographer there... hehe! Its very interesting for me and it must be the best choice to make some pocket money
to pay for the movies and outings myself...













2)I do many revision and hard works for FCE exam! I gained a lot of the English skills from this and this is the most useful thing that i have done in my holiday...













3)Hiking at Bukit Tukun and visit to Nyonya Heritage in Penang was the most exciting one! Of course we always join in some delicacy in our outing...^_^














































4)Secret Recipe ...AGAIN...with my pretty cousin... just want to make myself die fat........

















5)My great grandmother funeral....in chinese traditional i have to wear a white t-shirt with a red colour ribbon on it...



















6) Go through all my e-mails and stick my eyes on the tv and i gain alot af technique to loss weight...O.o















7)Dreaming in my beautiful evening or maybe end with some snacks...haiz...




Just want to share all the pictures took in my holidays and this is my post today . See you next time! ^=^



p/s: SOOOOO happy to saw Neri and Yen Ling in the school today... they have became so mature and different...Best wishes to both af you!!!

Tear's Season～～×

Finally,my(family's) new computer had arrived when i was having my dinner yesterday. Its black in colour that make it looks so cool and im glad that its with Window 7!!! OMG!I had already suffered with my old computer for a long time and i do really hope this new creature can make my use of computer become an enjoyable and happy activity without complain and furiousity...


I have had some very tough day during my previous week.I feel so bad to say that i had cried in those difficult days as i am suppose to be tougher but not weaker ...But everything just goes wrong!!! WTF...


My great-grandmother passed away on last Sunday. I felt sad to hear this because it make me thought about so many things. I din cry for this but im still sad. Its some kind of sad , which come from the bottom of my heart and i cant even express it through any kind of emotion.Its just sad...


My elder brother is now moving into The Sungai Petani Hospital( if i have no mistaken)and doctor said he may need to live in hospital for a longer period as he is still unable to breath by himself normally. Thanks to all of my friend that still take care about him and he will be ok soon...I think...


My appeal to the scholarship fail again and i think this should be the last hope for me but now it just got away from my life ...I had forced myself to believe that i cant get that scholarship forever but i still cant stop myself from falling into a great disappointment...its time to wake up and go back to the damn Form 6 life , i know.But just.... i hate myself and hate my destiny (at least i think that this fact had been written in my destiny since i was born) to make everyone around me feel disappointed... OMG!!! I hate my life!!!


I have finished my FCE exam last Tuesday and i have not did as well as i have expected before but whatever lah! I have no mood to bother about it now.My life was already worse enough so the result wont affect much on me.Chiao...


And recently , most of the jiba were so emo .I know the feeling so well as im suffering in it now too.I miss jibas and i need jibas so much but we shouldn't always follow our feeling but we have to work very super duper hard now...thats for our future! QingZhuang , everything will be alright and this is just some kind of emotion that we cant handle it for a while.The truth wasn't cruel like how you thought and the most important thing is your JIBAS wont forget you FOREVER !!! Yeah, just believe it...^_^


Thats all for now . Still have many things that cant actually speak it out clearly , but i just need to used to it . Tears must be the best medicine to cure me... i think...but its not my image at all! Haha...whatever~~~


p/s : Tear's season now~~~

Dismal day～～×

Its a quiet and peace dismal day again. The scorching air had been blown away by the strong wind and some cool breeze was invited to here. The cool wind blown onto my skin and this made me felt so fresh and calm in my mind ... Besides, a little bit excited hormone was produced too ! I think...


I have said before that i love dismal day soooo much . Dont know why ,it sometime make me touch and im just feel like i had reached the Heaven in my mind ...Every things become so romantic and beautiful~~


My life have had a little bit changes after the silly Math teacher who i hate so much left our school yesterday ... Its a bad thing to say that we felt so happy when we heard this " good" news and even wanted to have a class party! (Naughty Student^_^) But of course we dont ... Hehe...


Furthermore , i feel more relax when i think about the two weeks holiday soon!!! woohoo... Its is so nice for me because i no need to wake up at 6 something and then listen to such a bored lesson in the class . Hehe... i can blogging , face-booking , watching television for whole day long , reading my difficult EMMA (i will try very hard on it!) , playing piano enjoying the OPUS classical music and more excited things!!!OMG ! it make me so happy when i think n plan about it...dont you?! ^_^



However , my FCE test is around the corner too and i have to put more effort on it . Shhhhh ... tell you a secret , my English was worse enough... wahahaha! you can find it from my poor post la! haha! BUT i can feel that my English skills are improving and i am a little bit proud about it. hehe ... (praise me praise me=)) I will keep working in brushing up my English and i enjoy my hard work to move towrds my target!!! woohoo... Life is being so great with a target and dream～～～×D



Ok ... i am going to leave now... thanks my friends that gave me so much support before , specially Qingzhuang, Jiba Yi Xuan and Neri ... Im fine now with your words and of course i will keep going because im a LEO girl that strong enough!!!


ｐ／ｓ：This post is a little bit formal.... HeHe ... because im happy and peace now... so S- M-I-L-E～～～ ×

pp/ss: I love dismal day^o^

急转弯～～×

有好阵子了吧 ，没来这里。因为懒惰，因为激动，因为失望，当然也因为我的这台古董电脑。不过这几天，发生了很多很多的事情，也是我人生的一个重要的挫折。。。


21/5 星期五 ：

是时候了，重要的决定就在今天的下午三点揭晓了。我显得莫名的兴奋，虽然我真的很努力的去说服自己别抱有太大的希望，但是朋友的言语及种种的征兆显示，我得到这公共服务局的奖学金的机会很大。三点了，打开电脑，可惜网络爆满，我这台古董电脑无法上网。没关系先睡一下吧！傍晚六点，打开电脑，打开网址，输入密码后，等待已久的成绩就在眼前。“ Kami tidak dapat menawarkan biasiswa kepada saudari... " 第一个反应就是关了电脑，脑袋一片空白地 通过短信通知好友这个重大的消息，过后打给正在医院照顾哥哥的妈妈，告诉她我失败了。。。

当这句话从我的口中说出来时，我开始感觉到我的失落，我的沮丧，而我的眼泪也即刻沿着脸庞，滑了下来，坠到地上。。。


22/5 星期六 ：

原本是个很漂亮浪漫的早晨 ，天空灰灰的，没有阳光，却也没有风，一切很安静，很平静。这是我最爱的早晨。我原本就喜欢灰灰的天色，因为这样有点像是在天堂的感觉，很舒服，很舒服。我带着肿得像外星人一样的眼睛，静静地坐在门口放空 。偶尔，还是会不小心流出眼泪，但我发誓，是不小心的！

此外，很多朋友开始发些询问的短信，个个都以为我会有好消息，结果令他们失望了。。。


23/5 星期日 ：

心脏有点回复心跳了，很好，眼睛也不肿了。只是斗志还是消失了，欢乐还是没有回来。。。下定决心，面对失败与梦想的破灭。看些安慰心灵的小说吧！哈哈。。。听起来很可笑，但是倒也还蛮有用的，这也是我最近到处去向人推荐的一本书，叫做《微笑送给打击你的人》（Smiling To Someone Who Hurts You) 。它是有安慰了我不少，也让我学到了许多的英文生字^_^。。。


24/5 星期一 ：

清晨六点，被几个朋友的短信吵醒，他们催促我检查Matrix的成绩。当然，他们也以为我应该是得定了的。但是，结果是"Rayuan saudari tidak berjaya... "。。。麻木的感觉，让我无言，也再一次彻底的把我的希望给摔得粉碎。。。决定了不去学校，因为我不确定我是否能承受同学们以及老师的眼光。我不喜欢这样，所以决定逃避一天好了。。。

和乐观天才，羽晶，一起到处走走，静一静。我们到荒山野岭拍照，闲逛，去找一些老朋友兼前同事，试图找寻以前的快乐感觉。唯一的好消息就是我变瘦了，拍摄技术也进步了。无可否认我是个天才，一个情 绪化也没有人认同的天才。。。

×我的作品×


×谢啦！羽晶～～×

25/5 - 27/5 星期二至星期四 ：

上学了，开始到那间有点恶心的学校上课了。当我踏进课室时，我如预期般地听到了同学说：“喂！琪祯来了。。。”哈哈。。。我很受关注呢～～～


接下来的几天，我渐渐地让自己适应中六的学习生活。让超友善的辅导老师辅导了超过一个小时，终于也确定了自己的方向与心情。我终于也放下了所谓的失望与沮丧。


29/5 星期六 ：

这个星期真得很漫长，好像已经过了一个月一样。我，失去了很多，也想了很多。我，下定决心要让那些放弃我的人后悔。我，这个没有人认同的天才就不相信没有了这次的机会，我就没有了所有希望。我，狮子座女生即使是哭得很惨之后，也绝对会努力得很惨！！！我，向每一位关心我的朋友师长道谢，也正式宣布，我已经大笑着站起来了！哇哈哈哈哈哈哈～～～

p/s:我认真起来，连我自己都怕呢！

pp/ss : sorry Neri , i cant meet you there~~~*

Beautiful ～～×

This girl in the picture is not me , although someone said that we look similar... hehe ,its my pleasure ~~~because she is the most beautiful girl in our school ^_^ we call her school flower in chinese that is 校花。

Everyone including me like to see those beautiful things . So, i kindly post it here and just want to share with all of you . Hope you will like it...=)

Its Sunday and my mood is definately great ! I can stuck in my lovely sofa or just in front of my disguist computer and waste my time in doing nothing ... Its very difficult for me to have such a relax time recently because my Form six study had started last week .I have to put a lot of effort on it as it is not an easy things to do...



Tommorow is also a holiday too! I feel like want to hang out with my friends but actually i have no idea about what i want to do ... My elder brother is still in the hospital as his illness change frequently ... Stupid doctor , they didnt do much to my brother as he had stayed there for more than 2 weeks already . I cant go around as i pleased because i need to help my parent in their business and take care of my younger brother at home... I cant complained anything because i know clearly about my family situation now ... its annoying...



Well , JPA scholarship will come out in this week ! It make me a little bit nervous because i really want it! Im eagerly want to study at top college in our country and even top University in Australia!!! Hey Neri , maybe i can meet you there... [ Jusy dreaming Just dreaming] @.@ Hope i no need to cry when i know the result ... wahahaha^_^



That all for today , because im hungry now ^.^ Its lunch time and food make me happier!!! Cheer up everyone !!! Wherever you are study now , just appreciate it ! And i will always miss you T.T ... Hope you all the success in your future ! MY　ＦＲＩＥＮＤＳ　！！！


p/s: I miss all of my friends...

路口～～×

很明显，我变了。。。变美，变瘦，变性感？！随便啦！见仁见智，有也好，没有也好，都不重要。。。重要的是，我的生活变了。从单纯幸福的高中生活，到反复的考试冲刺，过后，假期渡假，到打工挣钱，拿成绩单，选择未来，一直到现在的中六生活开始，我面对的改变，对一个未满十八的花样少年来说，是巨大的。。。


每一次的难关与烦恼，我都会对自己说，过了这个障碍，你就会得到你要的幸福与美好的，但是显然的，我没有。。。这些难过的日子，无疑只是在为我的年轻增添更多皱着眉头过的日子。我不喜欢，但是我愿意接受，因为，我了解，我正踌躇在一个路口。这是每个人的生命线条，也是每个人的必经之路。。。


但是，如果只是站在路口徘徊不定的话，我不会这样脆弱，甚至伤感。我会突然的，就像一夜之间地长大，却是因为我的路口最近下雨咯！下了好大好大的暴风雨哦！不只有风还有闪电哪！满伤心的，什么鬼天气啊！害我就算是跌到了，也要忍受着伤口被雨水淋湿的痛，继续伪装着坚强地走下去。害我就算是伤心地落下眼泪了，别人也不会察觉到，而施舍我一个宽阔的肩膀。。。


我，一个狮子座的女生，一个不爱动不动就寻找男生庇护的女生，早就适应了这样的日子。。。早就习惯了，就算我有多么的想倒下也好，我都还是需要去支持另外一堆人，继续去扛起一堆的责任。。。你说我夸张吗？随便。。。我不需要去说服你，明白吗？！


偷偷说出来吧：我昨晚做了个梦。梦中有一个男生闯进了我的生活，坚决地握着我的手，说什么都不放。那是，我能感觉到无尽的安全感与幸福。。。我不知道那个人是谁，也不知道他干嘛握着我的手，但是我能清晰的感觉到那种感觉，就是我一直在寻找的一种安全感，直到梦醒了，我还能记得，那种感觉。。。



是天使吗？他来安慰我的？！也许吧。。。谢啦！神仙，谢啦！天使。。。我爱你们^_^


很废吗？这篇。这是我在路口写下的心情日记，谢谢你们的收看，再见～～～×

p/s:新的同班同学都很好，但我还是讨厌中六！！！各位，请帮我祈祷哇！！！！！

忙 ，sibuk ，busy～～×

Since i have to take my FCE( First Certificate in English) exam soon , i would like to do some practice by posting those poor English blog post to u all... If u felt sakit mata , just use some eyesmo ...If u felt tis was not bad ,then thanks for ur forgiveness n kind lo~~~


I have had a quite busy life recently,(Dunno Y) mayb more friends of mine r going to their colleges soon or my relative were really free these day , i always invited by them to go here n there even eat this n that ... But i like this type of lifestyle as i felt im still a useful people for the world cuz i can move ,eat, shout n take many many nonsence photo ...^_^



Guess what i have ate in this week... deng deng deng deng ...the answer r Haagen Dazs , Secret Recipe , Sushi King , Ice-Ice Baby , 喜来登 ,Inderawasih Western Food n many many more...^_^ Guess who i have shook his hand n congrate by him? haha...its YAB Lim Guan Eng ar... wahahhahahahah~~~XD



Guess how much was eaten me n some relatives of mine in Haagen Dazs... Wow!!! RM 300++ We had Chocolate steam baot with various fruit n 16 scoops of ace cream , new ice cream sushi , paradize ice cream that include 6 scoops of ice cream , 3 more "tongs" ice cream to take away n Haagen Dazs cake voucher.... Tats great n bad for me because im diet-ing but i love ice cream sooo much!

N of course Sushi King *_* :

N today my Cambridge English teacher buy us Secret Recipe!!! She is Teacher Jolyn n she is the cutest teacher in the world!^_^ ...

Sunday (25/4) , i had attented a prize giving ceremony in the early morning... Although i know that , the VIP of any ceremony must be a little bit late to show off their power n proud but i still felt so tired to wait for them...BUT all of these was worthy because i had received RM200 from there n also a cert ...^_^ brother Lim Guan Eng is really handsome n friendly , he smiled n congrated to all award reciepient !!! Wow~~~ I like his speech also! Strong n confident enough!!!

"Penang have been developed as well as KL . Of course cant be better than KL la , cuz KL is the boss ma!" I like his sarcastic :)

A long post... n i have to stop here... i wil post my other picture here later n hope to hear from you soon... Good Bye * TATA*~~~×

..........................................................................................Your Sincerely,

........................................................................................Red Flower

ps: Happy Rainy Day ~~~!^_^

我好像打了一场战。。。

无意间在报纸上看到了这一个题目，思绪顿时如泉涌般不停流动。。。想想考完试过后，我的生活完全变了一个样。有玩乐有工作，有轻松的，也有紧张的，一切来得太紧凑，太快了。。。


来不及适应的生活，即使很美好，也无法享受到，只会让人觉得很疲惫，很烦乱，乱到让人无法相信，乱到令人空虚。。。很多时候，我越来越不敢去疯狂享乐，因为害怕狂欢之后的空虚。所以最近嘛，总是时不时回想起之前的中学时光，至少它是单纯的，简单的快乐。。。


嗯。。。所谓打战，应该就是我思想的战争吧！最近一直为升学的事情烦恼，有时想着想着，头还真的痛了起来。。。不知道该怎样，也不想再去想该怎么样，因为想了那么久，还是一点头绪都没有。。。我只知道，我讨厌读政府的大学先修班（Form6） ，就这样，其他的没有想到了。。。


好想念奇葩哦！！！我相信他们都有了自己的一套计划（辩论员应该都是比较有主见的嘛！），祝福他们吧！他们的未来会很好的。。。我呢？不知道，就算我的语文能力再好，我还是拼凑不出我升学的蓝图。。。我好象忘记了奇葩的勇气，也失去了奇葩的强韧，一点点这样的难题，我竟然解决不了！！！


算了吧，我现在只好为明天的快乐而快乐吧！为明天的开朗存在吧！为自己开心吧！为我的思绪战争而充实吧！哇哈哈哈哈哈。。。哇哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。再见咯！做无谓的沉思去！


p/s:昨晚看了初恋红豆冰 ， 很不错的本地制作。 看到眼睛湿湿的，所以强烈推荐哦～～


pp/ss： 又是无聊的一篇。。。抱歉！^_^

我回来了～～！

哇啊啊啊啊啊啊哇啊啊啊啊～～～ 好像到外太空游了一圈哦！感觉像是去了很久但是原来还不到一个月也～～～



其实一切得从领取成绩单的那天说起。。。





那是一个风和日丽的早晨，我心血来潮，准备到学校去领取我的成绩单。原本心想，拜托拜托，最少给我七八颗苹果，我就谢天谢地，翻天覆地，拜天拜地，哭天抢地的心满意足了。很平静地来到学校，很平静的到办公室找老师哈拉，顺便派派巧克力，很平常地和北钟的金钗们，混在一起，很平常的被志宏臭一下。。。一切都像山雨欲来风满楼那样的平静与安宁。。。


结果。。。


我竟然有机会抱着羽晶喜极而泣！！！竟然有机会被访问！！！竟然有机会上报！！！



是的，上天赐给了我十二颗苹果。。。（12As)! 这真是我想都没想过的啊。。。接下来几天，我就过着人见人赞，报见报刊的日子。还有顾客在我的店里认出我来（星洲日报登得太大篇了），问我在那里干嘛，去当医生才对吧！『喜滋滋，喜滋滋』。。。对于我这个狮子座的女生来说，这简直就是快乐似神仙，每一天都飘飘然的超爽过日子呢～～～


但是，这种快乐鸟日子，好像也没有维持很久，大约俩天半吧。 因为，多亏我那大咧咧的性格，我连一点申请奖学金的头绪也没有，只好拨电问人呗！ 之后奖学金会申请了，却又不知道该选什么科好。。。营养师吧！市场太小；律师啦！太多人做了；商业管理吗？好冒险哦！～～～


两个星期过去了，勉强算是选定了科系吧=（法律），就暂时这样定着吧！却又在忙于上网或参加升学展，寻找奖学金。我妈说，没有得到JPA奖学金就去读Form6 好了；我堂姐说，别读私人学院啦！没前途的，哪里都是不认真的有钱人啊！朋友甲说：蛤！你要读Form6 哦？！好浪费你的成绩哦！不要啦。。。朋友乙说：虾米！你不要读College？？？做么？Form6很不好的，浪费时间罢了。。。。。


哎哟，烦死了！我想读私人学院啊！不想回钟灵了啦！但是又何耐，College贵死了。扣掉奖学金还需要付近十千啊！！！OMG！！！【大呼大叫～～～哦哟哦！！！】


所以暂时不想了，努力打拼我亲爱的JPA奖学金吧。。。


3月7日 下午2：00 晴


重要的时刻到了！JPA面试（听说不太重要啦！）超讨厌的举行了。。。我没有很信心，也没有准备太多，没有怕到睡不着。简单来说，我能走，能跑，能跳，还能笑。。。不过。。。可能我没有化妆也那么美丽，那三个女考官，不爽我，给别人的问题就是那种小学六年级写马来文作文的题目，而我的就是读完A-level 后考试的那种题目。。。（如有任何疑问，请参考我的面子书）
哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。。苦笑呗！=）应该是别想了，虽然我答得不错，但是他们应该就是摆明了不想给我那份奖学金了吧！哇哈哈哈哈哈。。。。高处不胜寒哦^O^



现在。。。


很轻松啊！什么都不想了。。。私人学院的奖学金也不去申请了（死了心），政府的也别要了（我不姓马），乖乖的勉强一下，读Form6 吧。。。T-T（十万分的不愿意啊！！！）


好了！好长的一篇哦。。。没办法，这种不需要交代清楚的事情，还是想告诉你们。。。发完牢骚了，我走呗!!!


p/s: 祝各位前程似锦，学院生活快乐。。。T_T

pp/ss: 现实是公平的～～～个屁！

上班族～～×

开始上班了！！！蛮开心的啦，至少不用再滞销在家里，等着发霉嘛。。。:D 用时间换取金钱，靠自己找钱花的感觉，还不错～～


话说，我之前已经成功靠到我的"P"了，但是还没有车，所以唯有麻烦我妈当一当司机，载我上下班咯！


我上班的店里，还蛮有趣的，可能是因为全部都是年轻女生的关系吧！尤其是那些做得较久的，特别有趣。她们不会抢顾客，不会勾心斗角，不会搞分派，不会大嘴巴，不会欺负新人或是尔虞我诈的。他们时常吵架的，为了那种小事，不过纯粹为了娱乐效果而吵，让在一旁看的人，放声大笑。不可一提的是，他们的笑声真的是无敌啊!!!要多大声就有多大声，要多尖就有多尖呢～～～！


这几天我还算是一个新新人，正努力学习店里的所有东西。。。前天吧，店长就告诉我关于佣金和奖励的规则了。。。佣金很少，不过无所谓啦，努力一点还是不错的。。。


那，我先走囖～～～上班去了^_^努力努力！！！


P/s:不完美万岁！！！

完美～～×

我一直希望，我的人生会是很完美的。。。就是那种很唯美，很像童话故事中的感觉的，所以可能是因为这样，我会去要求，我一定要变得很完美。无论是最肤浅的外貌，身材，或是难度极高的内涵（没有人的内涵是完美的啊！），才艺，智商，智慧，能力，胆量，性格，甚至是人生，我都会执着的要求完美。。。


认识我的人嘛，应该会发现，我多少会表现出恼人的强势，还有无可救药的自大。我并不是真的对我有那么高的自信，而是我已经习惯了，用自己想太多的能力，麻痹自己，让自己远离被现实环境揭开疮疤的危险，继而让我自己相信，，真的有完美生活的存在。。。


但是今天，一个我早就预想到的意外的发生，在我的脑叶上，狠狠的敲了一下。我的人生本来就不能完美的，因为有一些命运早就安排给我的人生样貌，已经让整个生活，丑得不像样。。。完美？！本来就不会属于我。。。这个事实，我现在才知道。。。


迟了吗？无所谓啦。。。反正，这样的遐想确实也给了我好一阵子的支持，让我在面对可怕的打击时，不至于崩溃，或是倒下。。。


以前，我会痛恨那些抨击我的人，会极力去找出别人的不完美来衬托出自己的完美；而现在，我会开始去接受真正的现实，真正的我，也要学会去适应，所谓的不完美，努力去探讨别人的抨击，努力去接受。。。



幸福很不容易怎么你却不敢了呢？我还以为我们能不同于别人，我还以为不可能的，不会不可能。



p/s:不完美万岁！！！

我恭喜你发财！！！

新年了也～～～！好棒，棒极了～～什么好棒？！呃。。。可以看一整天的无聊电视节目咯，不用工作，有新衣服穿，有很多很多的零食还有一大堆的汽水可以享用。。。然后呢？。。。。。。。。拿红包也很棒。。。。。。迟迟睡迟迟醒。。。。。这些算很棒了吧？





我嘛，今年就没有那么强烈的兴奋感，因为觉得没什么特别的，甚至会觉得有点闷，而且，浪费时间。。。

今年很特别噢。。。因为大年初一也是情人节（2月14）。。。但是，也和我没关系，因为我只有到处祝人家：“情人节快乐”的份。。。





好嘛，别不爽啊！再闷，生活还是要过的。。。所以，各位鸡巴，各位宝贝，准备哦。。。我会安排好一连串的行程，然后拉你们去玩哦！^_^等着吧吧！！！





p/s:新年快乐，情人节也快乐～～～！




pp/ss：我得到“P”咯～～～=）yeah!!!








发！发！发！