干嘛？！

唉。。。真的不想这样过着掩饰自己的每一天。很惭愧啊！身为辩论员，却还是不够聪明，去想通到底是怎么一回事，我在干嘛？！


今天，又帮我妈载送工人了。是啊，你没有看错啊！我是帮我妈载工人啦！我这个自以为是王后的狮子座女生，现在不是了！我在干嘛？！我这个曾经是人人羡慕的“顶尖”学生，现在也不是了。现在每个遇到我的人有九十九巴仙吧，都会问我：“你为什么这么想不开要去读中六啊？！”哈。。。为什么？我也想知道为什么。。。


“命生到不好咯！”这是我的答案。


当然，这是一种情绪化的表现。每当我伤心地寻求别人的安慰时，很多人给我的安慰是：“哎哟，你没有那么不幸福啦！你想看还有很多人比你更惨啊！有些人连吃喝住都顾不到了，你看你，至少还穿的好吃的好啊！有些人连书都没有的读了，你看你，至少还有书读耶。。。”


是啊！我看我，连自怜自艾的资格都没有，只因为我不是最可怜那个。。。有时候觉得这真的是一个不成文的道理，就因为这样，我的失去就不能算是失去，我的难过就什么都不是吗？传世界就只有第三世界的人可以哭泣，值得安慰，那我就应该任由失败与不公平打在我的人生上，而不能做声吗？


是啊。。。很矛盾的一点。应该只有我这种情绪化到极点的怪胎才会去探讨的一个课题。当然，你可以觉得我很过分，说出这种灭绝人性，伤天害理，有违伦理，大逆不道，十恶不赦，人鬼公愤的话（好像没有那么严重。。。），但是，身为一名情绪化的辩论员，我能够接受我提出这样的一个论点。。。因为，情绪化万岁！！！奇葩万岁！！！


好了！纯粹是太过于无法释怀了，太多的情绪出现在脑海里，才会这样。我没有想到原来我还没有痊愈的，只是早上的一点小到得用望远镜才看得到的现实，竟让我那么敏感，继而让我发现我自己严重的情绪化原来还是老样子。。。

颓废中。。。×

p/s: 情绪化万岁！！！！

Start to become a new one～～×

Today is a quiet and peaceful rainy day for me . No more serious emo , no more bad news , and no more dissapointment . Its simple and nice . It let me feel like im having some gaps to definate again what is mean by happy to me ... Its just like a starting of a brand new life for me but it wont be so easy ... i think...


Well, the dramatic 2-weeks holiday have gone and today i went back to the yucky school . Its the toughest holiday that i have never ever had before. Its just 2 weeks but i felt like i have already passed about one or two months . So , i always try to memberized what have i done in my holiday that made it so full till i cant even finish my homeworks!!! wahahaha^_^


1) I worked as a part timer again in the Ekspo in Seberang Jaya .Im a photographer there... hehe! Its very interesting for me and it must be the best choice to make some pocket money
to pay for the movies and outings myself...













2)I do many revision and hard works for FCE exam! I gained a lot of the English skills from this and this is the most useful thing that i have done in my holiday...













3)Hiking at Bukit Tukun and visit to Nyonya Heritage in Penang was the most exciting one! Of course we always join in some delicacy in our outing...^_^














































4)Secret Recipe ...AGAIN...with my pretty cousin... just want to make myself die fat........

















5)My great grandmother funeral....in chinese traditional i have to wear a white t-shirt with a red colour ribbon on it...



















6) Go through all my e-mails and stick my eyes on the tv and i gain alot af technique to loss weight...O.o















7)Dreaming in my beautiful evening or maybe end with some snacks...haiz...




Just want to share all the pictures took in my holidays and this is my post today . See you next time! ^=^



p/s: SOOOOO happy to saw Neri and Yen Ling in the school today... they have became so mature and different...Best wishes to both af you!!!

Tear's Season～～×

Finally,my(family's) new computer had arrived when i was having my dinner yesterday. Its black in colour that make it looks so cool and im glad that its with Window 7!!! OMG!I had already suffered with my old computer for a long time and i do really hope this new creature can make my use of computer become an enjoyable and happy activity without complain and furiousity...


I have had some very tough day during my previous week.I feel so bad to say that i had cried in those difficult days as i am suppose to be tougher but not weaker ...But everything just goes wrong!!! WTF...


My great-grandmother passed away on last Sunday. I felt sad to hear this because it make me thought about so many things. I din cry for this but im still sad. Its some kind of sad , which come from the bottom of my heart and i cant even express it through any kind of emotion.Its just sad...


My elder brother is now moving into The Sungai Petani Hospital( if i have no mistaken)and doctor said he may need to live in hospital for a longer period as he is still unable to breath by himself normally. Thanks to all of my friend that still take care about him and he will be ok soon...I think...


My appeal to the scholarship fail again and i think this should be the last hope for me but now it just got away from my life ...I had forced myself to believe that i cant get that scholarship forever but i still cant stop myself from falling into a great disappointment...its time to wake up and go back to the damn Form 6 life , i know.But just.... i hate myself and hate my destiny (at least i think that this fact had been written in my destiny since i was born) to make everyone around me feel disappointed... OMG!!! I hate my life!!!


I have finished my FCE exam last Tuesday and i have not did as well as i have expected before but whatever lah! I have no mood to bother about it now.My life was already worse enough so the result wont affect much on me.Chiao...


And recently , most of the jiba were so emo .I know the feeling so well as im suffering in it now too.I miss jibas and i need jibas so much but we shouldn't always follow our feeling but we have to work very super duper hard now...thats for our future! QingZhuang , everything will be alright and this is just some kind of emotion that we cant handle it for a while.The truth wasn't cruel like how you thought and the most important thing is your JIBAS wont forget you FOREVER !!! Yeah, just believe it...^_^


Thats all for now . Still have many things that cant actually speak it out clearly , but i just need to used to it . Tears must be the best medicine to cure me... i think...but its not my image at all! Haha...whatever~~~


p/s : Tear's season now~~~

Dismal day～～×

Its a quiet and peace dismal day again. The scorching air had been blown away by the strong wind and some cool breeze was invited to here. The cool wind blown onto my skin and this made me felt so fresh and calm in my mind ... Besides, a little bit excited hormone was produced too ! I think...


I have said before that i love dismal day soooo much . Dont know why ,it sometime make me touch and im just feel like i had reached the Heaven in my mind ...Every things become so romantic and beautiful~~


My life have had a little bit changes after the silly Math teacher who i hate so much left our school yesterday ... Its a bad thing to say that we felt so happy when we heard this " good" news and even wanted to have a class party! (Naughty Student^_^) But of course we dont ... Hehe...


Furthermore , i feel more relax when i think about the two weeks holiday soon!!! woohoo... Its is so nice for me because i no need to wake up at 6 something and then listen to such a bored lesson in the class . Hehe... i can blogging , face-booking , watching television for whole day long , reading my difficult EMMA (i will try very hard on it!) , playing piano enjoying the OPUS classical music and more excited things!!!OMG ! it make me so happy when i think n plan about it...dont you?! ^_^



However , my FCE test is around the corner too and i have to put more effort on it . Shhhhh ... tell you a secret , my English was worse enough... wahahaha! you can find it from my poor post la! haha! BUT i can feel that my English skills are improving and i am a little bit proud about it. hehe ... (praise me praise me=)) I will keep working in brushing up my English and i enjoy my hard work to move towrds my target!!! woohoo... Life is being so great with a target and dream～～～×D



Ok ... i am going to leave now... thanks my friends that gave me so much support before , specially Qingzhuang, Jiba Yi Xuan and Neri ... Im fine now with your words and of course i will keep going because im a LEO girl that strong enough!!!


ｐ／ｓ：This post is a little bit formal.... HeHe ... because im happy and peace now... so S- M-I-L-E～～～ ×

pp/ss: I love dismal day^o^